Why 95% of Your Friends Don’t Actually “Move to California” After College
Remember when you had to get your first job?
Unless you’re void of social anxiety, there’s a lot of fear that comes with getting your first job. On your first day of work, did you see all the other co-workers talking to each other and wish you could chime in? Or maybe you had something to say, but just didn’t.
Then someone comes up to the register and asks you something, you panic because you have no idea “how much this shirt costs” and your merciful coworker jumps in to answer the question.
And finally, you have to endure the insecurity of having someone show you the infinite complexities of working a cash register while the customer stands there holding out his credit card thinking, “this must be their first day…”
Honestly, it sucks.
But when push comes to shove and we need money, we sack it up and endure the anxiety long enough to get comfortable. And eventually, we see the new kid get hired and we feel a sense of empathy, and maybe a little nostalgia.
The reason why 95% of your friends will never actually move to “California” or “New York” or “Colorado” after they graduate is because there is no force within themselves willing to endure all the anxiety long enough to get what they want.
At our first job, the driving force is money. Everyone wants to feel independent, and so we endure the stress of starting a new job long enough to get to what we want, and as a result we grow and feel more comfortable. But when life is comfortable, money is no longer an immediate concern, and Fear remains, what is the driving force?
About 2 weeks ago, I, fully aware of every bit of Fear and Anxiety, sold most everything I owned, packed my car with what was left and drove for 3 days from Chicago to Los Angeles for 1 reason.
My fear of staying the same outweighed my fear of the unknown.
Imagine that every moment of your life is the moment where after fiddling with the register for way too long you have to admit to the customer that you don’t actually know what you’re doing and that you need to go find someone who does. And then they come over and fix it in 2 seconds and explain to you that “when the transaction is finished you hit the giant green button that says ‘Finished’ on it.”
That’s what starting a new life is like.
But I had this moment, about a month before I graduated, where I pictured myself at the end of my life, and I was no different from who I am today. And picturing myself as an 80 year old man, still wishing I was better at talking to girls, made me realize one thing.
Nothing in your life is going to change, unless you change it.
And so I made the decision right there to endure whatever stress I needed to so that I wouldn’t die the same person I am today. And just like I’m no longer afraid to start at a new job, I am no longer afraid to start a new life.
Thanks for reading <3
By Alec Mather